


Deadpool Gives Harley Orange Dick

by VampirePaladin



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Expressing Feelings Through Impractical And Inappropriate Gifts, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-23 23:48:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20898143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampirePaladin/pseuds/VampirePaladin
Summary: Deadpool and Harley sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.





	Deadpool Gives Harley Orange Dick

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NekoMida](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NekoMida/gifts).

“Harley, you’re the psychotic clown girl of my heart,” Deadpool said as he walked arm in arm with Harley. He casually drew his gun and shot the evil bad guy rushing them, well at least he was eviler and badder than Deadpool.

“You say the sweetest things,” Harley said. 

All around them the carnival was in flames. There was open warfare between the carnival workers and a local gang, the public caught in the middle, and through it all was Deadpool and Harley. 

When a heavily tattooed man tried to rush the two of them, Harley casually let go of Deadpool’s arm, brought up the mallet that had been resting on her shoulder, swung, and hit the man’s head, knocking him out.

“I’ve never met a fella like you before.” Harley skipped over the unconscious body and took Deadpool’s hand again. “Where did’ja come from?”

“It’s complicated, but the short answer is the restraining order says I have to stay at least one Cinematic Universe away from Peter Parker at all times. And since I don’t think you’ll be using Deathstroke any time soon after how Justice League was received by audiences-“ Deadpool gave a small yip as Harley squeezed his ass. 

“You talk too much, Poolsy.” Harley grinned before pulling him down to be on her height and pushing up his mask enough to kiss his lips.

“Then I should skip straight to the gifts.” 

“I love gifts!”

Deadpool reached into his back pocket and pulled out what looked a lot like an orange penis hanging from a cord.

“It looks like a penis hanging from a cord.”

“It is. Actually, it’s my penis.”

Harley looked from the penis on the string to Deadpool’s crotch and back up again. “You do know that this ruins some of the plans I had for us?”

“Don’t worry. It grew back.”

“You don’t say,” Harley said as she took the offered gift and put the cord around her neck. “I’ll cherish it forever.” She gave Deadpool the most adorable of psychotic smiles. “How about we get to some muderin’ and then to some sex?”

“Yeah, I was paid to defend the carnival. What about you?”

“I just like the chaos.”

“Girl after my own heart.”

The two released each other and began to murder all the eviler badder guys than the two of them.


End file.
